men, masculinities and gender politics


James Middlewood

Men and emotions


It’s a weeknight after a particularly tough day at work. You’ve just put the kids to bed. You can’t stop thinking about work, the problems waiting for you there tomorrow and it’s getting you down. You don’t feel like talking about it, especially not with your partner. You just want to be left alone to mull things over. You’re ready for a beer and the couch.

Your partner always knows when some thing’s up and tonight is no exception.  She sits beside you on the couch and asks ”Are you ok? You haven’t said much all night.” You reply with a curt, “I’m fine.” And you turn back to the TV hoping she will change the subject. Your partner is offended now and she gets up and leaves the room.

Does this sound familiar? It’s a common scenario that many men could avoid if they developed their emotional intelligence.