men, masculinities and gender politics

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Porn is not real. And here’s proof.

 

[Warning: This post contains sexually explicit language.]

 
For all of the arguments against mainstream pornography (even porn that is not especially exploitative), I think one of the most compelling one is simply this: That shit ain’t real.

 
Even porn’s defenders admit that. The porn-friendly site Sexpertzone.com feels the need to post a guide on why you most decidedly should not reenact that which you see in porn! For health reasons! For reasons of respect for your sex partner(s)!  You can find those guidelines here: http://www.sexpertzone.com/31/what-porn-stars-do-that-you-should-never-do-when-making-love/.

 
And the pro-porn healthy sexuality activist Cindy Gallup felt the need to set up a website called “Make Love Not Porn” in order to educate all people – but especially men – on the differences between sex in porn world and sex in real life. (www.makelovenotporn.com)   Among her reasons for setting up that website was that she was tired of having her male lovers pull porny tricks like ejaculating onto her face, and then they were surprised that such an act did not greatly arouse her! She talks about those experiences in her Ted Talk, which can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc  

 
She’s faking it, dude. Porn is known to often cause problems in relationships. Even apart from the issue of pornography addiction, which is a phenomenon that can absolutely destroy a relationship, heterosexual men who consume porn tend to report experiencing less satisfaction with the woman they have sex with – after all, why can’t my girlfriend do that thing I saw on my computer screen?

 
Well, first off, the woman you saw doing that thing is a professional. And she is an actress. She is paid to do those things/pretend to do those things/pretend to enjoy doing those things. Let’s turn the tables, shall we? Why can’t you, Mr. Man, suddenly turn into a half-human, half-machine, bounce bullets off of your chest, pick up bad guys with one hand, and throw them across the room? Because the folks who do that/pretend to do that/pretend to enjoy doing that are actors.

 
The main difference here is that in action movies, the actors are not actually getting beaten up.  But in porn, the actresses actually are having many things inserted into their bodies.  In porn, the actions may not be fake… but the re-actions usually are.

 
Matters of size. And as for physical looks… Why doesn’t your wife or girlfriend look like the woman on your screen? Well, there’s a selection process there, too. The women who are chosen for porn have a specific physical look that will sell to the masses of masturbators.

 
But you know what? The guys are also chosen for their “attributes,” as well. So, let’s flip the tables again, shall we? Instead of asking why your wife or girlfriend can’t look like that, let’s ask you: Why doesn’t your penis get as hard and as thick as that guy’s does?

 
And you know what else? To a lot of women, size does matter.  If you do just a little bit of asking around, there’s a good chance that before long you will encounter a woman who will tell you with absolute honesty that having the opportunity to have hot sex with a guy who has a really thick penis makes her a very happy woman indeed.  Of course the guy still has to know just what to do with what God gave him.  But I have several female friends who have told me that there is absolutely nothing better than getting it on with a man who has a large tool and who knows how to use it.

 
(So, man, just how good are you feeling about yourself right about now? Do you still think that porn is harmless?  Even when it regularly features guys who are way larger than you are?  Or are you too busy rushing over to another website to buy all those pills and pumps that the spammers are always trying to sell you to help you to enlarge your “equipment”?)

 
A problem without a purpose. So porn is a touchy subject. And we’re not even talking about violent porn here.  But even the more vanilla forms of it are based on fictions and falsehoods.  But even though porn is fake, the problems it can cause are all too real.

 
But you can tell someone something over and over and over again.  Porn is not real.  Porn is not real.  Porn is not real.   

 
But sometimes, seeing is believing.  So I am including below the pictures of several porn actresses who posed both with and without their facial makeup.  I would ask you to spend a little time looking at the pictures.  Look at these women – women who have appeared in films with names like “Enema Boot Camp”  “American Cocksucking Sluts”  “Buttwoman Vs. Slutwoman”   “Nasty Girls Wide Open”  “Sorority Sex Orgy”  “Too Small to take it All”  and “Elastic Assholes 10” – and think about how many of them look, without their porn makeup on, just like “the girl next door.”  How many of them are the girl next door!

 
Also think about the fact that the lifestyle does not seem to be treating some of them all that well.  If, as it is often claimed, the porn lifestyle is so full of wealth and glamor,  then why is the average length of a career in that industry only 18 months?

 

 
I encourage you to spend a little time looking at these pictures of porn stars.  Think about the actual women who do this work.  These are the actresses.  These are the real women who perform in the male-oriented porn fantasy world.  And I would encourage any person who watches porn – or who knows someone who watches porn (and we all know someone who does) – to keep in mind that the images flickering across our television and computer screens are all just a painted fantasy.